Happy Birthday, Leo!

Leo

July 23 - August 23

Personality-

Ego first, second and last with a Leo. If only they'd stop to realize that the world doesn't quite revolve around them as much as they think it does. They are so full of themselves that others are taken in and can build up quite a following of psycopaths and hanger-ons. This only helps bolster their already over-inflated sense of worth. They think any job they have is a career. They fail to notice how bad their lovers are because they're so busy watching their own performance - and that's what it is, a performance. They do love to tell everybody else what to think. They are bossy, dogmatic, opinionated and conceited. Trouble is, their opinions are always biased, subjective, unfair, based entirely on their own experiences , and short on facts. They have poor taste in clothes, as they think yesterday's fashions are still today's. Who's have the nerve to tell them though? They don't pay attention to detail. And do you know why? Lazy, that's why!

In Love-

What a showy little dog this one will turn out to be. This one will run and run - for about a week. You see the Leo is destined to be hurt in love, nay, tortured, dismembered, torn apart. They bring it on themselves. If they could learn to keep their trap shut for five minutes they might just hang on to a lover. But they don't. They do love to change, criticize, to tidy up, to argue with and finally, to drive away. It's in their nature. It's in their genes. They fall in love with the most horrendous unsuitable people; emotional cripples, too young, too old, too tall, too poor, already married (lots of this one),wrong gender, wrong planet! They seek a white knight in shining armor who will rescue them from their current love affair which has invariably gone horribly wrong. Then when you do saddle up they'll play frosty and tell you that you've arrived at the wrong time,wrong place, or with the wrong color armour. You'd think they'd be greatful to have someone to be rescued by.

In sex-

They can be tigers or they can be pussy cats, indifferent or overdemanding, turned off or turned on - you don't get an in-between with them. They are either ripping your clothes off or leaving them well alone. They either want sex ten times a night or not at all. Their idea of a good night of sex is you worshipping them, looking after their needs, servicing them, satisfying them, performing for them. Notice anything missing there? Good, because they won't have.

In business-

Like the African lion that they are named after, they are fat and indolent, cowardly and very lazy. They think they are good at business but how could they possibly be? They have no staying power, no endurance, no money and no ideas. In business, as in everything else, they like to be in control. God knows why, they're hopeless at it all. They make lousy parents as well as lousy business people, entertainers, singers, dancers and PR people. They make good show-offs, though. If you are resolved to employ one, make sure everything is nailed down or insured or replaceable or retrievable or expendable or disposable. If you didn't get it by now, they break stuff. They don't understand computers and cause them to crash. They deny this.

Miscellaneous-

+They won't go anywhere quietly. They can't sit through a play without talking or a film without being an unpaid highly vocal critic.

+They like to think they are raunchy, daring slightly dirty sorts of lovers. Thruth is they are tame, boring and un-adventurous.

+They make bossy office managers.

***This excerpt is from a book titled Nasty Astrology: What your astrologer won't tell you about your star sign by freelance writer Richard MacDonald.