We're All Winners In This War Of Hate

Uh, let's see. PTO-ians, "Elite" Members, people who pay in cash, what do they all have in common? They all piss me off and I would like to see them barefoot on the pavement on a hot summer day at high-noon. And yes, occassionally they all gather in one place [ie. lobby] at once and produce mass hysteria, which of course, as you two know, gets my hamsters' wheels turning inside my head.

As fate would have it, weekends for me at the hotel are astronomically disastrous. In fact I like to call them Legendary Saturdays. As a general rule of thumb, as long as I'm working a weekend morning it is bound to rain hell, blood and guts all over me. I'm no Bjork, but I've seen it all! It's not so much that the hotel is packed to capacity, because in fact, it tends to have less people during this time. But, oh my, what people they are! They reek of bargain-hunting.

Oddly enough Legendary Saturdays are not confined or restricted to weekends and thus can happen any day of the week. To describe this sort of day, I find my friend Murphy to be far more eloquent than me. Most of Murphy's sinister laws were apparently molded to conform the behaviour or situation of a bad day in a hotel. What? I didn't know Murphy worked in a hotel!
These are all true, and they most certainly do apply.

Variety of Murphy's Laws:

• If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
• Friendly fire - isn't.
• If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which something can go wrong, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
• Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
• Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.